Happy New Year!

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Happy New Year!

by Kibitz @ 2008-09-24 – 09:58:43

In a few days time I'll disappear. All being well I'll return next year. I'm gonna be busy. No time to blog. Will anyone actually miss me?

It all starts on Sunday. My friend's getting married. I'm the Second Best Man. His first choice .. his brother .. broke a leg. The wimp refuses to limp down the aisle.

All very well .. but I’m now lumbered .. with writing a speech in double spaced time. I'm under pressure. I'm falling apart. Or temporarily lost for words.

I'm under particularly strict instructions concerning permissible content. Don't be rude. Don't be crude. His parents are kinda conservative. Keep it brief. Light and fluffy. And please don’t kid yourself you’re witty.

Since whatever I do will not be approved. I'm naturally tempted to liven things up. I'm currently playing with closing lines. Here's my favourite so far ...

“My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen. Please raise your glass to the bride and groom. May their lives be complete. Their marriage be happy. And the speeches they hear at their future weddings - Be shorter and funnier than mine.”

In Other News ....

Monday’s the start of Rosh Hashanah. Bring on the honey it’s Jewish New Year. A time I’ll spend with various friends. I may even enter a Synagogue.

Kinda depends what mood I’m in. And whether or not I find my Yarmulke. But whatever I do I’d like to wish you. A Peace Filled And Happy Fifty Seven Sixty Nine. On Tuesday.

Adam ... x
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62 Comments on Happy New Year!

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- deleted user (Visitor)
- 2008-09-24 @ 10:02:21
Oh NO! Just got you as a friend, and like you so much, and you are OFF already? What is it, everything I touch runs away!

LiLx
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 10:13:22
  Oh YES!
  
  I'm running.
  
  On Saturday morning to be precise.
  
  I'll be away four or five days ..
  
  Then I'm back for business as usual.
  
  Er .. Has my post perchance confused you?
  
  Adam ... x
  - - deleted user (Visitor)
    - 2008-09-24 @ 10:15:26
    I think it was the "All being well I'll return next year" that did it. LiLx
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- Decado66 ^Pro
- 2008-09-24 @ 10:12:33
Take care mate and I hope the speech goes well.
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 10:17:07
  Thanks ..
  
  But I honestly foresee ..
  
  An embarrassing disaster.
  
  I think I might break a leg too.
  
  Adam ... x
  - - Decado66 ^Pro
    - 2008-09-24 @ 10:21:09
    Rather you than me mate, I am just not a speech person at all
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  - - miramaze
    - 2008-09-24 @ 21:04:26
    Ah but .. ah but .. ah but ....
    
    I was going to say that too
    
    ( wot Dedado said )
    
    You can't go now !!!
    
    A Peace Filled And Happy 5769 on Tuesday to you too Adam
    
    Shalom !
    
    X
    - - Kibitz
      - 2008-09-25 @ 07:26:00
      Shalom .. And Thanks.
      
      It’s also The World’s Birthday on Tuesday.
      
      At least it is in my tradition. Evolution not withstanding.
      
      Mayhap amongst its presents this year will be The Gift Of Peace.
      
      Adam ... x
      - miramaze
        
        2008-09-25 @ 12:06:09
        
        I did not know it was the World's Birthday too.
        We shall have to celebrate that
        
        The Gift of Peace is a wonderful git
        
        Shalom.
        
        X
        
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        Diana Huiu (Visitor)
        
        http://diana-huiu.blog.fr
        
        2008-09-28 @ 15:10:06
        
        I subscribe to the Gift of Peace! This is one of the most beautiful and impossible dreams of humanity.
        
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- deleted user (Visitor)
- 2008-09-24 @ 10:16:44
I'll miss you obviously!!
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 10:19:58
  And obviously ..
  
  I’ll miss you too.
  
  Five days is ..
  
  Such a VERY long time.
  
  Adam ... x
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- jackfrost ^Pro
- 2008-09-24 @ 10:22:27
return next year?? why so long.

Any how if you want to liven things up . before the speech get a load of keys and give one each to all the women at the wedding and then during the speech mention how he used to bring his girlfriends back to his place etc. and that he was such a soft touch that he would give his girl friends a key, but now he is married he wants them back, then get a bucket placed on the floor and then all the women that you gave keys to can come out and throw them in the bucket.

You can of course give all the blokes the key and speak about her boyfriends..anyhow just a thought!
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 10:32:06
  An excellent idea.
  
  But I’m not sure I’d have the bottle.
  
  Lol .. Unless I empty one or two first.
  
  Next year .. bizarrely .. starts on Tuesday.
  
  At least it does by the Jewish Calendar.
  
  I fear my jest may have backfired.
  
  All I’ve done is confused everybody.
  
  Adam ... x
  - - jackfrost ^Pro
    - 2008-09-24 @ 10:39:57
    Ah!!! well you have a Shana Tova
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  - - isadora101
    - 2008-09-24 @ 17:36:43
    Yes, you confused me too, temporarily...but now I see the light
    
    ....and don't you dare mention "future weddings" in your speech, you naughty boy!!
    - - Kibitz
      - 2008-09-24 @ 18:33:45
      Spoil sport!
      
      But you're right.
      
      Good taste must prevail.
      
      I shall not be a naughty boy.
      
      Unlike the groom in his youth.
      
      By G-d! The tales I could tell ..........!
      
      Adam ... x
      - isadora101
        
        2008-09-25 @ 10:08:23
        
        You can tell us...just don't tell the bride
        
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- Old-Nick ^Pro
- 2008-09-24 @ 10:28:56
Ha! That "back next year" line threw me for a bit, just as you intended it should you little tinker!

Hope the wedding goes well - that closing line is good if you want to see lots of people spitting champers across the table - and we will see you next year then.
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 10:49:07
  Lol ..
  
  You shall indeed.
  
  Spitting champagne ..
  
  Mmmm .. such a waste.
  
  Methinks mayhap I’ll have to rethink.
  
  Or .. Incoherently mumble with absolute confidence.
  
  Adam ... x
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- trintrin1x
- 2008-09-24 @ 11:42:10
Don't worry, your speech will be fine, i have faith in u.
Have a Happy New Year when it comes xx
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 12:05:29
  Thanks ..
  
  Your confidence inspires me.
  
  And my speech is slowly taking shape.
  
  More Elegy than Eulogy unfortunately.
  
  But anything’s better than nothing - I guess.
  
  Adam .. x
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- kendersrule ^Pro
- 2008-09-24 @ 12:15:09
Wow I'm the only person who got the next year thing *smug*

re wedding speeches:
if you aren't allowed to make em laugh, make em //cry//
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 15:05:51
  Make 'em cry.
  
  Bore them rigid.
  
  Open my mouth ...
  
  Then fake a heart attack.
  
  Really I'm spoilt for choices.
  
  Smug .. Next Year .. Thing.
  
  Your genius is duly acknowledge.
  
  Adam ... x
  - - kendersrule ^Pro
    - 2008-09-24 @ 18:13:56
    Just remember you get 5 mins to make his life hell or threaten to... it's the 5 mins in his life where he's just not sure if you're going to accidentally ruin his marriage...
    Making him sweat is expected
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- fairplay ^Pro
- 2008-09-24 @ 12:23:39
For my best man's speech I gently teased but mainly built the groom up. Ultimately people want to hear he's a good bloke and deserving of the bride. You need to be comfortable with what you say.

I reckon you'll do a good job - you've a good way with words.

Just don't do what I do - the vicar stole some of my speech during the marriage ceremony!

Quick thinking managed to turn it into the main joke of the speech
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 15:12:09
  Quick thinking ..
  
  Mmmm .. You’re giving me ideas.
  
  Maybe I’ll quit writing speeches ..
  
  And speak ad hoc ad lib on the day.
  
  Could be fun. Might even be interesting.
  
  And it would keep me safe from pilfering vicars.
  
  Not that many of those will be there ...
  
  It’s those light fingered Rabbi types I’ll need to watch.
  
  Adam ... x
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- xmillyxxx ^Pro
- 2008-09-24 @ 12:31:43
Have a great time hun... The speech will be fine..

And hopefully everyone will be drunk anyway

Will miss ya!

See ya when you get back. TC
xx
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 15:16:28
  Thanks ..
  
  Drunk - Hopefully.
  
  That would certainly help.
  
  Everyone ... Mmmm ..
  
  Especially .. Most of all ... Me.
  
  Adam ... x
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- misspoison
- 2008-09-24 @ 12:54:51
You so know your speach is gunna be a good un! Enjoy all that the next few days brings x
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 15:20:39
  Thanks ... I will.
  
  Speech - Good Un.
  
  Mmmm ... Here’s hoping!
  
  If it‘s not and I dry up completely.
  
  I’ll simply pretend I’m the strong silent type.
  
  Adam ... x
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- bunnybunbunbun
- 2008-09-24 @ 12:58:53
good luck and happy new year too I hope that you will get to wear a top hat because I think they are very fine indeed
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 16:44:38
  Topper’s indeed ..
  
  Are very fine things.
  
  I wore one once for a play.
  
  A Pelham G. Wodehouse something or other.
  
  My acting debut. My role a Drone.
  
  Lol ... How little my life has changed.
  
  Adam ... x
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- Chyna_Doll
- 2008-09-24 @ 13:10:04
We will miss you. Good luck x
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 16:46:32
  Thanks Chyna.
  
  I'll miss you more!
  
  Adam ... x
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- titsaleenabumsqueak
- 2008-09-24 @ 15:49:22
Lol!!!!

This post cracks me up!!!

Go for the key thing and sod the lot of the old stuffies if they don't find it funny!!!!

Went to one at the weekend and just a note keep it short, generally the same sort of thing is said by the speakers before you!!!

Have you found out how many are before you?

If brides dad, grooms dad, groom and bride make a speech you could get away with something short and sweet!! Just an idea!!!

Good luck and enjoy laughing at the fool whom is sweating heavily next to you (groom). Whilst realising you are so god damn lucky not to be the one getting married!!!!

Oh small hint take tissues as many a weeping damsel will be in need!!!

see you soon x missing you already

PS didn't get the new year thing, but happy new year anyway (does this mean you get 2?)
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 17:03:58
  Key Thing - Tantalisingly Tempting.
  
  Speech Short and Sweet - Very Practical.
  
  I've abandoned their rules. I can't make them work
  
  Whatever I say shall be me. As they say - for better or worse.
  
  The order of things I really don't know. If I can I'll find out tonight.
  
  But I do know one or two of the bridesmaids. Tissues - I'll carry a box.
  
  New Year .. Many Thanks .. I do indeed get two. And I 'borrow' Christmas.
  
  Adam ... x
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- taylor8ash
- 2008-09-24 @ 18:46:09
why you off ill miss you
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 18:59:51
  Thanks Ash ..
  
  Why me off me miss U2.
  
  And I'll attempt to improve my grammar.
  
  Adam ... x
  
  P.S. Did you type your comment with a German accent?
  - - taylor8ash
    - 2008-09-25 @ 18:20:10
    hey sorry i wrote in a rush. my bloggin is private and its not exactly private here.
    i'll attempt to improve my grammar too.
    
    you sound more like tarzan.....me tarzan you jane!!! he he!
    
    mein german accent ist sehr gut,ja???
    
    ps why u disappearin??
    
    Ash xxx
    - - Kibitz
      - 2008-09-26 @ 07:08:51
      Warum verschwinden Sie ...
      
      First a Wedding - Then Jewish New Year.
      
      Did my post perhaps confuse you too?
      
      If it did ... Ich bin SEHR traurig.
      
      At least according to Babel Fish.
      
      I leave here tomorrow ..
      
      Returning on Wednesday.
      
      All being well we’ll catch up then.
      
      Adam .... x
      
      P.S. I hope you’re having an awesome adventure. A full report is expected.
      - taylor8ash
        
        2008-09-29 @ 15:59:46
        
        you did confuse me.
        i thought you were running away! dont be sad theres just no point.
        i'm back from germany. i'll do u a post sometime soon.
        
        have fun with the wedding and veil glueck on the speech.
        
        Ash x
        
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- Kizzy1984
- 2008-09-24 @ 18:46:34
You had me worried there for a while... but all is well now Have fun at the wedding, I'm sure you'll cause plenty of havoc but try not to make the groom cry! xx
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 19:08:26
  Lol ..
  
  Men don’t cry at weddings.
  
  Unless someone nicks their champagne.
  
  And I promise I won’t do that ..
  
  I’ve bought myself an emergency hip flask.
  
  Adam ... x
  
  P.S. Thanks .. I will.
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- cj592 ^Pro
- 2008-09-24 @ 19:03:57
Here's to the best man's understudy! Hope you don't stay disappeared for long
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-24 @ 19:13:49
  Thanks .. I won’t.
  
  I’m back at work on Wednesday.
  
  Unless I elope with a bridesmaid.
  
  Adam ... x
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- happy28 ^Pro
- 2008-09-24 @ 19:07:50
you scared the bejesus outta me. I thought you were off til January. Well, have a great time at the wedding, lots of opportunity for pulling girls you'll never have to see again!

speech - if the groom is giving you rope, go ahead and use it. as long as you don't slate the bride, or mention any erstwhile STD's I'm sure you'll go down a treat.

See ya next week.

x
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-25 @ 07:01:49
  Next week or next year. It's a Pick 'n Mix option. Either way I'm back on Wednesday.
  
  Girls at weddings - definitely a bonus. I'll try not to think about STD's.
  
  My treat of a speech is still not written. If the groom offers rope I'll know how to use it. I simply can’t take this pressure!
  
  Adam ... x
  
  P.S. Thanks! I'll do my best to have a great time .. and not to scare you ever again.
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- sexymf ^Pro
- 2008-09-24 @ 19:21:34
I was a best man twice.

They both got divorced.

Bad track record methinks.

Happy New One. See you next year/week
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-25 @ 07:12:33
  Twice ... Mmmm ..
  
  An unfortunate trend.
  
  Platitude - Third time lucky?
  
  Mayhap when my Big Day comes?
  
  Lol .. Talk about living dangerously!
  
  Adam ... x
  
  P.S. L'Shana Tova! Have A Sweet Year! I hope you’ve made a Honey Cake.
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- MissyMouse
- 2008-09-25 @ 00:00:31
Happy New Year Adam!

Don't stay away too long eh??

Hugs xx
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-25 @ 07:17:58
  Thanks .. I won't.
  
  My boss wants me back on Wednesday.
  
  She says I’ve been taking too much time off.
  
  Lol .. You‘d think she’d be glad to be rid of me.
  
  Adam ... x
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- antlady69 ^Pro
- http://antmusic-forever.blog.co.uk
- 2008-09-26 @ 08:00:39
Rosh Hashanah to you too! See you "next year"

xx

Oh, and have fun at the wedding *bussi*
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-26 @ 10:55:49
  Thanks .. I think.
  
  Depending what bussi means.
  
  Lol .. I’ve just searched the net.
  
  I now understand.
  
  So thanks it is - Unreservedly.
  
  Knuddel Bussi - I hope that's right.
  
  Adam .... x
  - - antlady69 ^Pro
    - http://antmusic-forever.blog.co.uk
    - 2008-09-26 @ 17:39:13
    Knuddel Bussi - I like it!!!
    
    A "Bussi" is a peck on the cheek (kiss) of someone you like. I guess it's the same as "MWAH!"
    
    (and "knuddeln" is a big hug or bear hug, just in case ... )
    
    And yes, I know "Bussi" looks a lot like an ominous English word but it really has nothing to do with it - well, unless you - er ... well ... - I think I leave that up to your fantasy ...
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- deleted user (Visitor)
- 2008-09-26 @ 15:19:53
We will miss you honistly,wont you miss us?
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-26 @ 15:28:11
  Desperately!
  
  But only for four or five days.
  
  Jewish New Year starts Tuesday.
  
  Adam ... x
  
  P.S. Confused? Don't worry .. You’re not alone.
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- deleted user (Visitor)
- 2008-09-26 @ 15:42:38
Have a nice time Adam see you soon.
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- wehavetoactnow
- 2008-09-26 @ 22:43:32
Enjoy... and your proposed last line is hilarious! I'm at a wedding myself tomorrow, which for reasons I won't go into here, I don't want to go to. I shall keep your ending in mine to keep me smiling all day
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-09-27 @ 07:35:58
  That's the attitude ..
  
  Keeping smiling regardless.
  
  Convince the world you're happy ..
  
  And you may even start to believe it yourself.
  
  Last line .. Many thanks .. I’m still tempted to use it.
  
  I mean ... what’s the worst that can happen?
  
  Lol ... Apart from the good guy .. that’s me ... dying young?
  
  Adam ... x
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- Miza-T
- 2008-09-29 @ 23:27:38
Happy New Year!

Love the speech, so deep man!

xx
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-10-01 @ 06:03:12
  Thanks Miza ...
  
  And a Happy New Year to you too!
  
  Or - L'Shana Tova - As we tend to say.
  
  Which kinda means - Have A Sweet Year!
  
  Deep speech. On the day. Most people laughed.
  
  I fear and suspect out of pity .... Adam.
  
  xxx
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