Confession One - Foolish Things

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Confession One - Foolish Things

by Kibitz @ 2008-08-19 – 10:54:10

I've walked in .. not on .. The Sea Of Galilee.

I've bowed my head at The Western Wall.

I've patted a donkey in Bethlehem. I’ve carried a cross in Jerusalem.

I’ve been stoned by fanatics in Mea Shearim. My heinous crime was taking a photo.

I’ve also been arrested twice. Both times in Israel. I’ll never go back.

I've felt the touch of an M1 Carbine. Pressed against the back of my head.

I’ve begged. I’ve pleaded. I’ve peed my pants. Fear is the strangest thing.

In Israel .. My gap year .. Age eighteen. Most of my friends were Palestinian.

I kinda drifted into politics. The one rock I lobbed hit an angry Policeman.

One angry Cop. Three took revenge. On me. My friends. The End.

Adam ... x
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- fear
- israel

70 Comments on Confession One - Foolish Things

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- deleted user (Visitor)
- http://www.pindipop.blog.co.uk
- 2008-08-19 @ 11:00:54
aah, that sounds really sad. I dont know what to say to that, it makes you wonder what kind of place this world is. x
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 11:04:38
  Don’t feel sad.
  
  That wasn’t my intention.
  
  It happened a long time ago.
  
  Adam ... x
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- la_spice
- 2008-08-19 @ 11:07:08
Put it all down to experience I'm sure you're a better person for it!
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 11:13:36
  Better.
  
  Probably not.
  
  Slightly wiser - I hope.
  
  Adam ... x
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- Old-Nick ^Pro
- 2008-08-19 @ 11:17:12
Never ever throw rocks at people with guns. Never throw rocks when there are people with guns around. It's probably best to never throw rocks at all.
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 11:22:33
  Lol ..
  
  Such wisdom.
  
  Have you always been such a Clever Dick?
  
  Adam ... x
  - - misspoison
    - 2008-09-21 @ 00:01:06
    yes... yes he as! x
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- trintrin1x
- 2008-08-19 @ 11:19:39
hope your better at dodging things now! x
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 11:24:51
  Dodging - I’m an expert.
  
  And my running speeds greatly improved.
  
  Adam ... x
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- kendersrule ^Pro
- 2008-08-19 @ 11:22:35
Oh please! fear is nothing to be ashamed of honey xx
And foolish things? Well.. at least you learnt a valuable lesson.. see Nicks comment!
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 11:27:05
  Fear ...
  
  Mmmm ...
  
  The word I’d use is cowardice.
  
  Adam ... x
  - - kendersrule ^Pro
    - 2008-08-19 @ 11:35:14
    faced with the prspect of having my brains blown out I'd certainly wet my pants! And beg, and blubber, and turn into a jibbering wreck.
    Everyone likes to think they'll be all "Bah! So shoot me!" But in reality no one wants to die that badly!
    
    **HUGS**
    - - antlady69 ^Pro
      - http://antmusic-forever.blog.co.uk
      - 2008-08-21 @ 06:18:35
      It's not cowardice to want to survive! It's the most natural instinct we have (that and reproduction)
      
      Very serious situation, but hopefully you did learn from it, like all others said too.
      
      xx
      - Kibitz
        
        2008-08-21 @ 06:58:42
        
        Thanks .. I did .. A lot.
        
        Including the fact I’m a coward.
        
        The survival instinct may be natural ..
        
        But how one achieves this remains the test.
        
        Adam ... x
        
        P.S. Reproduction .. Mmmm ... I vaguely remember the process.
        
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- cj592 ^Pro
- 2008-08-19 @ 11:32:06
I knew that politics was bad for your health!!!
Sounds like an eventful time. Glad you made it out unharmed
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 11:38:45
  Thanks .. Me too.
  
  It helped being English.
  
  My friends fared worse.
  
  Adam ... x
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- deleted user (Visitor)
- 2008-08-19 @ 11:59:36
My father in law was jewish Adam i liked him a lot he had a good sense of humour,i looked up to him because he was very successful in life through his own hard work. He became like a father to me and i miss him. In a way he was very stricked and his values were very high but i liked that, if he told me of for some thing i listened and i never listened to anybody else.
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 15:29:18
  Your Father in Law.
  Sounds an interesting man.
  
  I’m afraid I avoid my stricter relatives.
  They’re a tad too religious for me.
  
  They ooze disapproval in my direction.
  The moment I enter the scene.
  
  Adam ... x
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- deleted user (Visitor)
- 2008-08-19 @ 12:04:44
I have walked into the river Jordon. Walked by the sea of galilee. Been to Jerusalem,nazareth,love it, and i wanna go again.
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 15:32:46
  Lol .. I don’t.
  
  If you were there in 2002.
  
  Mayhap we passed in the street.
  
  Adam ... x
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- MissyMouse
- 2008-08-19 @ 12:24:48
Aw Adam....you really have got that off your chest eh!

Feel better for it? Hope so

Hugs xx
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 15:37:17
  Strangely enough - I do.
  
  It’s not the kinda thing ..
  
  One can casually drop into idle chatter.
  
  Hi .. I’m Adam .. I’m a felon and coward.
  
  Lol .. Talk about conversation stoppers.
  
  Adam ... x
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- hebburndelboy
- http://hebburndelboy.blog.co.uk
- 2008-08-19 @ 12:33:15
you only pissed yourself ? I would have shat a brick!

well I never, Adam the hooligan!
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- - hebburndelboy
  - http://hebburndelboy.blog.co.uk
  - 2008-08-19 @ 12:34:58
  I'm patiently waiting for confession number 2.
  
  hurry up!!!!!
  - - Kibitz
    - 2008-08-19 @ 15:41:59
    Number Two .. Mmmm.
    
    I'm reconsidering that one completely.
    
    There's such a thing as saying too much.
    
    And although I know you don't believe me.
    
    You really will be disappointed.
    
    Adam ... x
    - - hebburndelboy
      - http://hebburndelboy.blog.co.uk
      - 2008-08-19 @ 16:08:13
      well if you feel the need to get it off your chest pm me. confession helps.
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- Chyna_Doll
- 2008-08-19 @ 12:40:54
You were young and indeed a little follish then. It's probably down to being a hormonal teenager like we all have been at one point! x
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 15:48:01
  Absolutely.
  
  The Folly Of Youth.
  
  Exactly how I choose to view it.
  
  Hormones - Temper - And Stupidity.
  
  Adam ... x
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- deleted user (Visitor)
- 2008-08-19 @ 13:57:50
Hey Kibitz,

I had a similar experience at Butlins holiday camp at Skegness.

I'm really looking forward to reading about the second day of your holiday in Israel.

Keith
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- - sterces
  - 2008-08-19 @ 14:13:40
  Butlins has been known to do worse.
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 15:56:40
  Hey Keith,
  
  You’re a braver man than I etcetera.
  I’d never risk going to Butlins Skegness.
  Venturing north of Watford scares me.
  
  Day two. Er .. I’m afraid that may be delayed.
  I’m suffering another bout of cowardice.
  I’m no longer sure how much I should say.
  
  Adam ... x
  - - deleted user (Visitor)
    - 2008-08-19 @ 16:34:56
    Hey Kibitz,
    
    Seriously, I think you should just put all this to the back of your mind.
    
    There is no reason to post material that your not sure about. To your real-life friends maybe, but not us lot on here!
    
    Just remember - you're one of the good guys.
    
    BTW, have you ever thought about smoking a pipe, something (perhaps your avatar, I know it's a pen, looks like a pipe) makes me think it would suit you down to the ground.
    
    Keith
    - - Kibitz
      - 2008-08-19 @ 17:13:36
      Seriously ...
      
      I’d never tell my real life friends.
      
      Not about this .. Or other things.
      
      I don’t know why but I simply can’t.
      
      I guess it’s a question of trust.
      
      Pipe - I tried my Uncle’s once.
      
      I spluttered - I choked - I prefer Havanas.
      
      Adam ... x
      - hebburndelboy
        
        http://hebburndelboy.blog.co.uk
        
        2008-08-19 @ 17:24:43
        
        so.....I'm not a real life friend? ....SOBS...... boo....hoo......
        
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      - deleted user (Visitor)
        
        2008-08-20 @ 19:09:16
        
        OK, I will return to being a "spanner" ASAP.
        
        I hope that the regurgitation of all this brain-fodder helps your grey-stuff somewhat.
        
        Keep your chin square.
        
        What happened to your friends after the rock throwing incident?
        
        Keith (the chief)
        
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        Kibitz
        
        2008-08-21 @ 07:04:11
        
        Hey Keith ..
        
        Three like me were simply chucked out.
        
        Somewhat bruised but nothing long lasting.
        
        Two ended up in hospital. Broken ribs and ruptured spleen.
        
        And one guy spent six months inside. I never saw him again.
        
        Adam ... x
        
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- deleted user (Visitor)
- 2008-08-19 @ 15:04:24
Wow!
Gutsy...and insane...passionate...and outrageous
Fantastic combinations!
Nobody knows fear til they've lived it.
The trick is living with it's memory thereafter.
Jxx
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 16:02:03
  Mmm ... That's very perceptive.
  
  I still have nightmares occasionally.
  
  Not so much my own experience ...
  More what they did to my friends either side.
  
  It’s the frustration of being futile that haunts me.
  
  When all’s said done they were only kids.
  
  Adam ... x
  - - deleted user (Visitor)
    - 2008-08-19 @ 20:10:53
    Perception comes from experience.
    What they did to your friends is still part of yours.
    Haunting shared...recalling helplessness is a form of personal torture.
    Share only what you're happy with...Jx
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- isadora101
- 2008-08-19 @ 16:00:11
At 18 one can be very idealist especially with the political situation in Israel.
It seems that you aren't the only one stoned in Mea Shearim according to what I have just been reading.....
apparently Haredi men, women and children have also spat on and thrown stones at the Education Ministry’s female employees and motorists who drive on the sabbath are particular targets for ultra-Orthodox stones".

So..it's behind you now..lets just say that
"being stoned in Mea Shearim by fanatics = one stone lobbed by Kibitz" ... quits now
and you're correct..fear is the strangest thing Xx
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 16:59:42
  A fascinating place Mea Shearim.
  
  Kinda dangerous at times.
  
  Especially during Shabbat.
  
  Women are particularly vulnerable.
  
  The rules being complex and many.
  
  Tit for tat - Call it quits? Er .. Okay.
  
  Adam ... x
  - - isadora101
    - 2008-08-19 @ 19:36:09
    "Tit for tat - Call it quits? Er .. Okay."
    
    reading it back it does sound rather glib and shallow...what I was trying to say was "don't beat yourself up about things any more than you have to" Xx
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- subville
- http://subville.blog.co.uk/
- 2008-08-19 @ 16:02:20
It's good to question things and rebel against the way things are established

Definitely a right of passage.

Not cowardice AT ALL. I've cried at much lesser things. Gunpoint would've caused shitting myself lol

Dude, it's cool xxx
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-19 @ 17:07:15
  Thanks Subs - Cool is good.
  
  Cowardice - Thanks again.
  
  But I know I behaved like a coward.
  
  I also know I would again given similar circumstances.
  
  Adam ... x
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- deleted user (Visitor)
- 2008-08-19 @ 16:31:49
I have not been to Israel since 1980 it was lovely, but war broke out as we were leaving and yes i was glad to be leaving then. We arrived in england and it was pouring with rain and i missed the sun.
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- deleted user (Visitor)
- 2008-08-19 @ 16:35:19
You are young i can understand how you feel about your elders at present, like you i rebelled there is much i still do not agree with. Its a case of finding yourself in your way and some times it has to be the hard way.
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- kendersrule ^Pro
- 2008-08-19 @ 19:07:24
1. that crystals1 fella is creeping me out.
2. if you aren't sure about confession 2 make it private
3. hugs again xx
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-20 @ 07:01:19
  1) Lol .. Behave! Crystal’s comments refer to previous exchanges.
  
  2) Private or Public - Wouldn't the effect be much the same?
  
  3) Hugs again? Gosh ... Thanks. I .. er .. feel so unworthy.
  
  Adam ... x
  - - kendersrule ^Pro
    - 2008-08-20 @ 08:46:45
    1. fair enough!
    2. you can pick who sees it.
    3. don't be silly! you //must// be worthy if I am hugging you
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- QueeneMab
- 2008-08-19 @ 19:46:06
Funnily enough although I enjoyed seeing the sights on my trip to Israel about 12 years ago, I don't want to return either the whole place totally depressed me for a number of reasons, maybe I will change my mind one day.

X
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-20 @ 07:06:18
  Mmm ..
  
  Care to elaborate?
  
  Totally depressing?
  
  My curiosity is painfully piqued.
  
  Adam ... x
  - - QueeneMab
    - 2008-08-20 @ 07:19:35
    Too long ago now can't remember all the details except that there was a lot of tension and security was OTT on the flight out and it seemed the norm for citizens to wander about bearing firearms and when we went to Masada (which was a fantastic place) there was a group of youngsters that can't even have been more than 16 armed to the teeth on some sort of field trip. I don't like that kind of culture. There was some kind of incident when we visited the Dome of the Rock which meant we had to leave quickly because they were going to seal off that part of the city. When we went to Yad Vasham for "a quick visit", we were harangued for about two hours by our guide who seemed to hold all of us personally responsible for the holocaust and consequently we never got to visit Qum'ran which was the whole point of that day trip.
    
    Too much hassle crossing back into Israel from Sinai due to security (nearly 5 hours), spoilt the whole day trip.
    
    Too many negative experiences when you add them all up.
    
    Some beautiful places though especially the ruined Egyptian temple (Pillars of Soloman).
    
    X
    - - Kibitz
      - 2008-08-20 @ 11:00:07
      Gotcha .. And thanks. I really did want to know.
      
      When I first arrived the weaponry everywhere seemed exciting.
      
      I stood in a bus station once .. chatting to soldiers hugging their rifles.
      
      I felt nothing short of elation when after much muttered debate a conscript eventually let me hold one.
      
      Stupid ... I know ... believe me ... I learned.
      
      That guide at Yad Vashem - He or She was well out of order.
      
      It’s a place which speaks for itself. Or would if given the opportunity.
      
      During my time there I searched their database and found seven names from my grandmother’s family.
      
      Thanks again .. And Shalom ... Adam ... x
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- EllieGant
- 2008-08-19 @ 20:31:53
Only stupid people don't feel afraid and it's not cowardly to stand up on behalf of friends, despite the consequences. Despite that, some things leave scars.

Better out than in, they say. I say just don't be in a hurry to book a holiday there again.

(And I'm impressed that you hit what you were aiming at at your first attempt. I couldn't hit a barn. Not that there were any there, I suppose.)
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-20 @ 07:12:22
  Lol .. You suppose correctly.
  
  Barns were noticeably absent.
  
  The ubiquitous THEY are also correct ..
  
  When THEY say better out than in.
  
  I actually feel a sense of ..
  
  Mmm ... Relief .. Release .. Resolution?
  
  Shoot! Who cares? Whatever it is it feels quite good.
  
  Adam ... x
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- trubs
- 2008-08-19 @ 20:55:11
hi Adam...

Interesting post, i bet you would be a good poet, but going back to the post: as i saied very interesting, i like the way you write, continue like this Adam i'll be waiting for your next post (hope it will be "confession two")

Emmanuel **
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-20 @ 07:17:19
  Hi Emmanuel
  
  Thanks ...
  
  But Confession Two may be delayed.
  
  Or changed. Or cancelled. Or something.
  
  It’s nothing like this one.
  
  It’s more .. er .. reprehensible.
  
  Part of me thinks you’d prefer not to know.
  
  Lol .. or .. even worse .. that it might bore you rigid.
  
  Adam ... x
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- xmillyxxx ^Pro
- 2008-08-19 @ 21:30:27
Adam...

To post that...is proper brave in my opinion...

The past is the past hun, you can't change it...it's who you were..

{[Hugs}}
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-20 @ 07:22:48
  Absolutely.
  
  Who I was ..
  
  And what I’ve become.
  
  I guess they’re kinda inseparable.
  
  Adam ... x
  
  P.S. Brave to post? Not quite how I see it .. but thanks.
  - - deleted user (Visitor)
    - 2008-08-21 @ 20:30:41
    if i may add my opinion...
    
    i also consider it brave. that makes at least two of us!
    
    [hugs]
    - - Kibitz
      - 2008-08-22 @ 06:57:46
      Mmmm ..
      
      Two against one.
      
      In that case I MUST be wrong.
      
      Adam ...
      
      P.S. Thanks ... x
      - deleted user (Visitor)
        
        2008-08-25 @ 10:03:44
        
        but now since you realize it, it's fine
        
        [hugs]
        a
        
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- taylor8ash
- 2008-08-19 @ 22:53:11
i cant believe that you think people would not want to be friends with you because of it??
think your a braver man than i for going in the first place,i freak just going to normal places.
its a lil shocking but we all get involved in things that arent good but we learn from them and move on.
you wouldnt be the person u are now if this hadnt happened.

ash x
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-20 @ 07:28:10
  Thanks Ash.
  
  I honestly thought felony and cowardice ..
  
  Might lose me at least a couple of friends.
  
  I guess I was wrong .. which is great.
  
  But my next fess up .. if it happens ...
  
  Could well produce a more negative effect.
  
  It really .. really .. makes me look bad.
  
  And I’ve literally no idea how to write it.
  
  Adam ... x
  - - taylor8ash
    - 2008-08-20 @ 19:56:07
    just take a deep breathe and write. your never going to meet all these people who read your blog, astoundingly bad luck if you did.
    besides if people judge you for your past mistkes they are not worth shit.
    just tell it like it is.dont feel so bad fucking up just makes us human.
    
    Ash xx
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- Miza-T
- 2008-08-22 @ 11:02:12
That would actually make great lyrics for a song!

Don't know why, but as I was reading, a song I like (brasilian) very much and haven't heard for years came to my mind.
Part of the lyrics is:

I was born ten thousand years ago
And there is nothing in this world that I do not know too
I saw Christ be crucified
The love and be born murdered
I saw the burning witches
Prá pay their sins, I saw
I saw Moses crossing the Red Sea
I fall into the land of Muhammad knees
I saw Peter denied Christ three times
eu vi In front of the mirror, I saw
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-22 @ 11:17:57
  Mmm .. Yeah ..
  
  I see what you mean.
  
  I this .. I that ... etcetera.
  
  When I busked I sang my own songs.
  
  I guess when I write a post ...
  
  Subconsciously I’m still composing.
  
  Adam ... x
  - - Miza-T
    - 2008-08-22 @ 11:25:48
    Very well composed
    
    And yes, I wouldn't go back neither.
    
    xx
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- fairplay ^Pro
- 2008-08-23 @ 14:29:07
I don't think there is anything to be ashamed of there Adam. In that situation you ahve to make a decision and you can't mull it over - it's instantaneous.

I can't see cowardice there and felony? I bet everyone here has broken a law at some point.

What has happened in the past makes you who you are. It's ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them.

We're here for support
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- - Kibitz
  - 2008-08-24 @ 07:34:46
  Thanks Andy ..
  
  The support I’ve received on here ...
  
  Has certainly helped me gain perspective.
  
  Not one single person’s responded negatively.
  
  Which honestly has kinda surprised me.
  
  My next confession may prove more challenging.
  
  When it’s written you’ll see what I mean.
  
  Adam ... x
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Confession One - Foolish Things

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